Sooooooooooo, I’m showering to get ready for my humpday quesadilla and margaritas…… when I spot it! The voluptuous white bottle clearly labeled “Dove Bodywash.” I recalled the recent outrage regarding their commercial, where viewers insinuated that its purpose was discriminatory. A single tear flowed from my eye (although it could have been a droplet of water from the shower head; but let’s just go with a tear for the effect). I yelled out, “Noooooooo!! Never will I perpetuate discrimination in this home!” I grabbed the bottle, in a naked fit of rage!!! Pulled the shower curtain back and made eye contact with the small waste receptacle……..
Then something told me to at least smell the product before I tossed it in presidential fashion toward the waste basket for two points…….. And uhhhhh, let me see how to word this…. ummmm, I don’t know what heaven smells like….. but damn, Dove ain’t no joke!!!! Omg!
Dove got me: yelling out like an herbal essences commercial!!! Dove got my shower: looking like a DeAngelo video!!! Dove got me: canceling plans and future engagements!!!!
Before I knew it, I was covered in it, humming the pottery wheel song, “Oh My Love” from “Ghost,” going full Patrick Swayze on my arms and legs with my exceptional shower singing skills!!! I didn’t use Axe todayyyyyy! I see why those day shift nurses come to work so tame and rejuvenated!! How could you be upset, when you smell so fresh and so clean, clean!
So ummm, yeah, Dove and I are working our problems out!! I actually watched the commercial and it wasn’t bad at all….. They were actually trying to achieve the opposite and express that it is a multicultural product! Geeez, I’ve got to stop taking these memes to heart!